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 This is just to let all FSB members know that the National Conference of the "Federation of Small Businesses" in 2009 will be held at the Celtic Manor in Newport.
As there are 33 regions of the FSB in the UK and we only have one National Conference a year it is a major fillip to be able to hold such a prestigous event in Wales.
In the run up to March 2009 we will be holding and hosting a number of events with the slogan of "Support Local Trade". The officers of the FSB locally are working to ensure that your Voice is being heard and will continue to do so with your support.
I shall keep you all appraised of FSB National Conference details as they appear. Book March 2009 in your diaries as it will be an amazing time for the region.
Best Regards.
Allan Smith - FSB Recruitment.
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 "Federation of Small Businesses"
For those of you who have read, called and joined my Gang, here is some news!
The "Federation of Small Businesses" has recently been helping a number of people new to business through our local networking at the Holiday Inn, Newport.
Over 60 people turned up on the evening and a fun time was had by all. And here is the best bit. We had quite a number of Breeze subscribers in the room with a few getting up to talk about their Breeze businesses.
WOW! Free advertising for anyone associated with Breeze!
The "FSB" carries out lots of events nationally and I am here to answer all your questions about the benefits of membership. If you are a new business or an existing business pick up the phone and I will explain about how to get Free Business Banking, access to Free Lawyers and Solicitors, Savings on Business Insurance and help with the hundreds of little problems that crop up on a daily basis when running a business.
The "FSB" website is www.fsb.org.uk and I can be contacted on 01443 450874 - 07715 710708 allansmith@as-associates.com.
So to everyone in business - the "FSB" is there for your benefit.
Regards.
Allan.
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 Do you remember when you were a youngster, now come on - it can't have been that too long ago, we all belonged to a gang. Well I have a secret to impart - Nothings changed!
Even though I am in the the full flush of adulthood and approaching at the speed of light, my senility years, I still belong to a gang.
The only difference now to my childhood is apart from Stinker Ailes (Who got his name through regularly letting one off in class just like old faithful in Yellowstone - before Atomic Clocks we had Stinker Ailes) and Malcolm (The Hammer) Hamer, my gang of 1968 don't get together any more. (Most of us are either dead or in prison).
Yet I still belong to a gang! The only difference is that my gang now has over 200,000 boys and girls in it and I have gang members all over the place from Mrs Millies tea shop in Arbroath (Did i heer ya say ya wanted kippers with ya Clotted Cream?) to Big Bad Bob's Boat Building Business Based Behind Brixhams Big Blue Building Beyond Bob's Brothers Fish and Chip Shop in Bridlington.
And our gang has a name! And the name is! "The Federal Russian Security Service of the Russian Federation". Yep! That's correct! If you google FSB on the Internet you will find that the FSB is the de facto name for what used to be called the KGB. Ooooooooh that's scarey.
Don't mess with anyone in my gang or we will be knocking on your door after tea-time with the boys! Or!
You may mistakenly fall into the hands of the other FSB which is a place of calmess and serenity personified. So what is this other FSB that I talk of. Well many years ago when we were all cute and happy little children and before we elected to become engineers in the great ship of state called the Economy our Four Fathers set in place a gang called the "Federation of Small Businesses".
Now this gang is a nice gang because we are all happy, unstressed business owners who have a carefree life full of wonderment, happiness, laughter and camaradarie. (He used to play left back for Juventus). --- Ok it's an old joke but it makes me smile :-)000
Now our FSB even has a website at www.fsb.org.uk and the nice thing about our gang is that we help one another. So if you wouldn't like to get into a fight with other gangs on your own, you know the nasty gangs like the VAT, Inland Revenue - The Bank Manager- Employment Czars, the Really Bad Gang over at Trading Standards not to mention the toughies at Environmental Health, PAYE and Data Protection (Not that they appear too good at protecting from what I can see) and the latest gangs appearing on the horizon such as the Elf n Safety Mob and the Chuggers then you need to join our gang too. What's that - you've not heard of the Chuggers !!!!!!
Well these are really dangerous critters because they call you out of the blue when you are always at your busiest and trap you into verbally agreeing to sponsor a three legged blind Albanian donkey with Alzimmers, Alsimmers, Aliisimimmers - I forget how to spell it - and the next thing you know you have a demand for £400.00 cos you verbally agreed to do so. "Charity Mugging we call it - Chugging - Get it" !!!!!!
The really nice thing about our gang is that when one of us has a fight with the nazies above they have to take on all of us - You know the saying "One for all and all for 214,000".
Oh and another nice thing about our gang is that on your behalf we will hold up a Bank for you and get you some money. OK - That's not exactly true. We won't be holding up any Banks, I remember from School that it was frowned on and not a Career Choice the Careers Master reccomended and after all, he did time for embezzelement so he should know, but we will do the next best thing.
We will help you to save money, because our gang is hard! We have worked over the wimpy gangs like the Insurance Gang and the Banking Gang and we have threatened to do them over of they didn't start offering up the readies - A bit like a Protection Racket in reverse.
So tough are we that they give us "Free Banking" and "Discounted Insurance" deals. Hey if your gonna act tough - Ya gotta be tough. So if you want to see if you are tough enough to join our gang and ya gotta be really tough, you know where to find me. The pretty pink house at the end of Rainbow Road in the Little Picturesque Village of Upper Trumpington the Emerald Isle of Scented Flowers or if I'm not in when you call - 142 Shingrig Road, Nelson, CF46-6DU. 01443 450874 - 07715 710708.
There will be further installments on "My Gang" and I will report on any fights we have on behalf of gang members. So until we meet again - Be Tough and remember if someone is giving you a hard time tell them your gang is the FSB. They won't know if you are a member of the KGB or the owner of a small tea-shop in Arbroath.
For futher details about my gang contact - allansmith@as-associates.com.
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